To my Bestfriend who moved away

''A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation or being together. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends never part.'' ~ Unknown

 Lord knows how much i would give to have a meal with you. To hug you or even just sit in silence with you. There are days i just want to call you and talk. But i forget about your crazy schedule or call when you're asleep. I am learning to count hours backwards before i call. Sometimes, i forget. We get caught up in our lives and may end up not talking as much as the past week or month. But when we do talk, nothing has changed. We catch up for hours and laugh at the corniest and weirdest of things.

The Separate lives.

I keep reminding myself that we have separate lives every time i watch your snaps having all sorts of fun without me. I know you need to establish relationships there. I actually need you to, for days when you need that friend, who is actually there.. I am not worried of being replaced. But i always wish you were doing all those things with me.I have pretty good friends here as well. I can't wait for you to meet them! 

 The Inevitable Change.

I will probably get this job that demands everything in me. I will get home too tired. All i want is to take a shower and sleep. I will forget about our Tango date. I will call and find you driving. You will call back and find me asleep.

You will want to tell me about this new guy but i will keep ranting about something that happened that really got to me. You will let me be and even forget about your news but still tell me later! I know we’ll stay friends, even as we keep growing.

The Little things.

Oh the little things you do! I do not take for granted. How you follow up on that interview i had. Encourage me when all is going to shit. Motivate me to be a better person. Those little gifts you send mum when she's coming, beautiful words you write to me when I'm having a bad day.. I'm definitely keeping you in my life forever!

The Support System.  

For years, we've had each other's backs. You were there for me as my world crumbled, and you patiently put the pieces back into place. You've never let me push you away, no matter how many walls i build wanting to be alone. You've taken my angry words and returned them with proclamations of love. You understand me in a way that others don't.Wherever you are, i know i have you.

The love.

I love you, no matter how far away you are. I love you even when you read my texts and forget to reply. Even when we try to stay in touch and sometimes fail. Whether we talk once a month, or once in a fortnight, you're still my person! We are Family!

The Countdown.

I can not wait to squeeze the life out of you when you're finally back in town. To take a million pictures with you since we don't get that privilege much. I will ditch everyone else to catch up on the moments we've missed. You keep saying you'll be home before i know it. I don't doubt that. I just cant wait!

See you soon, Colette Wambui

2015 Musings

Oh, hello ☺

I know it's been forever you guys but lemme try explain. See, here's the thing. This blog has been my safe haven. Where I come to vent and unwind when am having a rough patch. Yeah? But this year, 2015 has been nothing of that. It's been the best year yet! I kid you not. 

If I were to tell you guys of how good this year has been good to me, how God has had my back and been nothing but faithful, I'd go on and on. I don't want to bore you with any of that especially if you don't share the same sentiments as I about the year. 

I'll just highlight a few memorable things. But before I do that, is it Christmas yet? I mean, why doesn't this holiday feeling go round all year? I am happy and grateful for quite a number of things. Quite frankly guys, I cannot wait for next year! I can't wait to see new opportunities come by and doors open! 

I graduated! 

This by far was the happiest day! And having accomplished this with my friends made it even better. You know, we went through all this things together while in school, it was just the perfect climax, celebrating that day together. I remember when we were taking photos one of my friend was elated, her lips were twitching from all the smiling.. 

Am gonna be an Aunty! 

Yes. One of the things that has me looking forward to next year is holding my niece but most of all, I can't wait to see my brother with her. Yes I know he's going to be a father and all, but seeing is believing. I can't wait to see her face, see who she takes after, watch her sleep.. Yes, I know - I should get my own! But until then, I'm gonna marvel at this one. 

I went Natural ☺

Thing is, when I cut my hair, I wasn't sure what to do with it yet. It's just an impulsive decision I made and cut it overnight because I didn't want to change my mind in the morning. But now, I look back and it's the best decision I made! I have learnt my hair, how to care for it, it's needs, I now understand my hair better and I have grown to love my hair. 

I have grown! 

I have learnt to let go of things that aren't worth it. I have learnt what being single and happy means. I have known who is there for me no matter how rough it gets. I have appreciated my family more and more, everything begins and ends with my brothers and parents! I have learnt to forgive. I have learnt to not worry about things I cannot control. I have learnt to compromise. I have learnt to take a day at a time and to enjoy the little things in life. 

I got to travel! 

It would be ridiculous to leave this out especially because my brother thinks that nowadays my sentences begin with "You know in Dar.." but yeah, that place is beautiful and peaceful. Guys there are very cultured, their food is impeccable and they sure do know how to throw a party! I could write paragraphs about my little stay there but I'll just put it in seven words - I had the time of my life. 

I hope you had an amazing year too!

Make merry this Holidays, don't drink and drive!

Happy Holidays

Settling for less

It’s easy to convince ourselves that we should keep our expectations and standards low to avoid getting hurt or let down. It’s easy to look in the mirror and see all our flaws and imperfections rather than all the beauty. It's easy to think that because we have wronged people in the past, we deserve to be wronged in return. It’s easy to make excuses for people that we care about. It’s easy to overlook things we shouldn’t because we want everything to work out as planned. It's easy to ignore red flags because we love someone. It’s easy to fail to see everything that’s wrong when we’ve invested so much of ourselves in making it work. It’s easy to make excuses and live with the disappointment rather than to leave.

When you care about a person, you see them in a way that is often inaccurate. Sometimes what and who we think a person is doesn't match up to who they are in reality. It’s easy to put on rose-colored glasses when we love someone. To overlook their flaws and imperfections. This is not necessarily wrong. No one is perfect, and in order to succeed in a relationship you have to be willing to love someone despite their faults. 

The difference is whether you are overlooking flaws or settling for less than you deserve. If you are failing to see that you are not being treated how you should. It’s okay to excuse the fact that someone never hangs up their towel or fails to put the glass in the sink after using it. It’s okay to excuse even bigger things.
Maybe they have some issues communicating their feelings but are trying to work on it. Maybe they have family issues they are trying to work through. As long as these things do not affect their treatment to you, it’s okay to overlook certain shortcomings. Especially when their faults are far outweighed by their good qualities. The difference is when the person isn’t treating you with the kindness and love you are giving them.

Everyone deserves a person who loves them unconditionally, even at their worst. A person who wants to see them smile and laugh. Who will listen to their complaints, their hopes, and their dreams. Who will laugh at even the corniest jokes. If you aren't being treated like you are amazing and worthy, something is wrong. Because you are beautiful and smart and remarkable. If you’re with someone who doesn’t see this in you, you are settling for less than you deserve. And you should stop.

I know it’s hard. Really damn hard. You make excuses and justifications. You blame yourself. You think if you could just change or try harder then maybe they will see how wonderful you are. Truth is, they won't. Don’t lose yourself trying to please someone else. Because there is someone out there that will not only accept you, but will love you for all that you are. Sure, you really like or love this person. You have a lot of fun with them and you care about them a lot. But if you are often left feeling let down or as if they don't care about you just as much, why settle for that?

More than likely, the reason you are not getting what you deserve isn’t your fault. It has nothing to do with you. That other person probably isn’t ready to give you what you need. Or maybe you just aren’t right for each other. That isn’t on you. That doesn’t mean you’re any less fun. Just because someone fails to see your value doesn't decrease your worth. Remember that. Tell yourself that over and over and then summon up the courage to walk away. It’s going to hurt like hell. You are going to feel damaged and depressed. There will be times you beat yourself up and blame yourself and your shortcomings, but try not to. Remind yourself that all you’re doing is choosing not to settle for less than you deserve.

You are gorgeous. You are smart. You are kind. You are generous. You are fun. You are witty. You are driven. You are creative. You are all sorts of wonderful things. Walk away from someone who doesn’t or can't appreciate these things. That way, when you come across someone who does, you’re not blind to it because you’re settling for less than you deserve.

Things you don't owe anyone

Here's something I came across the other day and decided to share. 

Enjoy, xx ☺

Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.

Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else's business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.

Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.

2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.

You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.

3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.

If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.

4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.

You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.

5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.

Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.

6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.

You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people's kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That's how to get ahead.

7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.

You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.

8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.

There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.

9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.

As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.

10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.

Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.

12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.

Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.

13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.

Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.

14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.

Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.

15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.

Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

✌✌✌